As I grew older, I found that my relationship with my father, which had often been difficult due to differences in opinions and attitudes, improved as I grew older and was able to equate my own experience with him as I shared his perspective. In my mid-thirties I was amazed and this awareness also extended to others outside the strict family circle. I sometimes think that the simple ability to stop, before speaking, before judging, to use one's mind and just stop and analyze feelings in a dispassionate way is one of the biggest helps that I have found. It is difficult, but it works. After all we are all so alike, and so cosmically different. When voices are raised, listening stops. I also think that a conscious desire to understand and avoid confrontation and there fore the need for revenge is deeply conscious one. A moral choice if you will.

On your show you played "Moonlight Sonata" with what sounded like a Arabic singer mixed over it. On the music link of your Web site, I found just the Beethoven piece on its own. It is beautiful, but I found the version with the Arabic singer stunning. Do you know where I can find that or was it done in your studios? Thanks.

In 1984, I was 28 and was raped at knife point by a stranger. He was captured and convicted and remains in prison today. At that time I was very committed to my non-denominational church and Christian faith. I told the rapist before he left the scene that I forgave him.

I have never experienced the anger, unforgiveness, or need for revenge that many of my peers have expressed. That is not to say that I did not experience a great range of emotions about the events and what happened to me. To this day, I am still active in working to prevent my attacker's attempt for parole. I began volunteering and later worked for a rape crisis center and with victims of other violent crimes. I knew that my experience was different from many of the views I heard expressed on a daily basis.

Forgiveness was often a topic of discussion, of struggle, as many victims felt they "should" forgive but could not find it within themselves to do so. I even worked with one victim whose spouse did take revenge and killed the rapist at a later date. The spouse ended up in prison for killing the rapist, and a whole new set of issues were piled on top of an already suffering victim of this crime.

I certainly have many other life experiences in which I have and/or still struggle to find forgiveness toward someone or flirt with seeking revenge. I have achieved forgiveness in some of my most important relationships while not in others. Some I've worked harder at; others I've not worked on at all. My only explanation is that as I've matured and grown, experienced more of life, made my own mistakes, given myself the chance to be angry, experienced deep grief, I've come to understand better that life is short and full of suffering. It is impossible to walk in someone else's shoes and know the pain and suffering that has imprinted their life.

At the time of my rape, I was so involved in my church and surrounded by messages of love and forgiveness, I was able to utter those words of forgiveness. At that time, my heart was in a good place to forgive in spite of the horror of the crime. Other issues that evoked the desire for revenge or stifled my ability to forgive have issues of resentment, exhaustion, poor health, and ego surrounding them. With the rape, I was grateful to still be alive.

I left my little church a long time ago and spent many years in and out of mostly Protestant churches. After working a 12 Step program, I opened up to reading about other faiths and philosophies, primarily Buddhist and Native American spirituality. I no longer attend church and have abandoned the need too. I meet with a small group of friends to meditate on a weekly basis. I feel a greater spiritual satisfaction in my life now than ever before recognizing that my faith and feelings grow and change with the seasons of my life. I forgive myself more so I am more forgiving of others. I experience less anger with myself, so I feel less need for revenge toward others.

Dr. McCullough gave me a few "aha" moments during this interview. He did mention the idea that we need some baggage-free language that reflects our deeply embedded capacity for forgiveness. The Lakota have words for it: Mitaku Oyasin — we are all related.

I learned these words from the inspiring story of Paul LaRoche, which I saw on the PBS special "Brule AIRO: Concert for Reconciliation of the Cultures," filmed at Mount Rushmore. Paul was adopted by a white couple and never informed about his Native American Lakota heritage until after they had died. By accident he discovered the adoption papers and was able to track down his birth family, and was welcomed "home" by his tribe. He then saw firsthand the devastating legacy of the massacre at Wounded Knee, which currently is reflected in the fact that the teen suicide rate on the Pine Ridge Indian Reservation is the highest in the U.S. He then set out on his new mission in life to reconcile mainstream and Native American cultures through his music.

He ended the Mount Rushmore concert, a sacred place for both "white" America and "red" America, with these sincere words: Mitaku Oyasin, along with prayer dances for reconciliation through mutual understanding and appreciation for each other's cultures. In him, both cultures have been reconciled. I believe that when we adopt words from a different language as our own, particularly when we are members of a group that perpetrated brutally inhumane treatment on another, i.e. we are given the words for forgiveness by the injured group, adopting those words as our own is acknowledgment of harm to relatives and a step towards asking for forgiveness. I would like to hear what Mitaku Oyasin is in every language.

I see bullying as a real problem that many adults accept and look the other way. My youngest was one of those socially awkward children who attract the attention of bullies. The offenders were boys in our Mormon neighborhood and it would happen during Sunday school and scout meetings. When I spoke to teachers and scout leaders, they would deny any bullying or reply that it was just boys having fun.

My husband spent a day at scout camp and was witness to the bullying. I went to a Cub Scout day camp with my son. The skits the boys put on were about belittling younger boys. It seemed that the scout program was perpetuating bullying. Adults need to say this will not be tolerated and then not tolerate it. When we look the other way, it is silent approval. What kind of people will these boys grow up to be? Abusers of wives and children, maybe? I would like to see a nationwide campaign of zero tolerance for bullies. And it might make a good subject for one of your programs.